The person you’re speaking to is distraught. You’re afraid to say anything for fear of making them even more upset.
Understand you’re in a challenging situation. For both of you. You would like to convey your caring and concern. The other person wants to avoid rehashing the whole situation again and perhaps retriggering themselves.
This is the opportunity to be as neutral as possible. Honoring the person’s feelings and space, while offering connection through words.
Questions like:
- What would you like me to know?
- What would you like to tell me?
- What is important for you to tell me?
- I just want to hear what you’d like to share. What is that?
- How can I support you?
- What else is important for me to know?
These questions honor the person’s space. And allow you to accept the connection they’d like to offer. Once the other person brings up a topic, it is open for a light question. A question for understanding or clarification Above all, follow the other person’s lead.
Be gentle and soft with your words and tone. Be genuinely curious in response.
Express appreciation for any sharing. You can offer something like:
- This helps me understand you.
- I feel more connected to you since you said that.
- I care about you and I appreciate hearing what you have shared.
Notice how the other person is responding. That is your cue on how to continue.
We are all human and on some level desire to connect.
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